Jokes
Do you have any good jokes to share for World Animal Day? If so, send them to us by clicking here.
What did the cat say when he got hurt?
Me-ow!
Why do gorillas have big fingers?
Because they have big nostrils!!!
What is the definition of a snail?
A bogey in a crash helmet!
What is the loudest pet?
A Trum-pet!
What do you call a deer that has no eyes?
No eye deer!
What do you get when you cross a crocodile with a camera?
A snapshot
Why do birds fly south in the winter?
Because it's too far to walk!
Where do you give a sick bird?
Tweetment!
What do you call a crate full of ducks?
A box of quackers!
What do you get if you cross a tiger with a kangaroo?
A stripey jumper!
Where do you get if you cross a centipede and a parrot?
A walkie talkie!
How do you find where a flea has bitten you?
Start from scratch!
What kind of shoes do frogs wear?
Open toad!
What can drink but has no mouth?
A flower
Where do you take sick ponies?
To the horsepital!
Why did the frog cross the road?
To see what the chicken was doing!
What do you get if you cross a rabbit and a flea?
Bugs Bunny!
What can drink but has no mouth?
A flower
What do you get if you cross a snake with a Lego set?
A boa constructor!
There was a big dog in the park sitting next to a lady on a bench. A man went to sit down and said "Excuse me does your dog bite?" The lady said no, but as soon as he sat down the dog bit him. The man said "You said your dog doesn't bite" and the lady said "It isn't my dog."
What is the difference between a mosquito and a fly?
A fly can fly but a mosquito can not mosquito.
What do you call a chicken that crosses the road rolls in dirt and comes back?
A dirty double crosser.
What happened when the lion ate the comedian?
He felt funny!
What happened to the frog who parked on a double yellow line?
He got toad away.
Why are elephants so wrinkly?
Have you ever tried to iron one?
Whats dangerous and looks like an elephant?
An elephant with a machine gun.
What's as big as an elephant, but doesn't weigh anything?
His shadow.
What do you give a seasick elephant
Lots of room!
The police stopped a man with 20 penguins in his car. "You mustn't drive around with penguins in your car. Take them to the zoo." The man said OK. The next day the police stop the man again because he still has 20 penguins in his car. The policeman says "I told you to take those penguins to the zoo" and the man says "Yes I did and today I'm taking them to see a film."
Animals United were playing Minibeasts City in the Cup Final. At half-time the score was 20-nil to Animals United. The Minibeasts coach gave his team a talk and told them to try harder. By the end of the match Minibeasts City had won 50-20. The Minibeasts coach told his team, 'Well done, lads. Centipede, you were brilliant - the way you tackled Lion, got the ball off Elephant, then scored all those goals. But where were you in the first half?' 'Sorry, sir,' said Centipede, 'I was still putting my boots on.'
What do whales chew?
Blubber gum!
What happened to the cat who swallowed a ball of yarn?
She had mittens!
What do cows like to dance to?
Dance moosic!
A dog goes to a meat store with a basket in its jaws. The store man looks in the basket and sees a $10 bill and a note. He reads the note and its asking for three pounds of best ground beef. So he wraps up some real old meat, but the dog growls at him, so he gets out some good meat instead. Then he weighs the meat and its a bit under three pounds and he goes to put it in the basket but the dog growls at him. So he makes it up to three pounds and puts it in the basket. The dog goes out and the guy follows him down the street to see where he goes. The dog goes up to a house, rings the bell, and its owner comes out and starts yelling at him. The guy says, 'Hey, why you doing that? That's a really smart dog.' But the owner says, 'No he's real dumb. That's the third time this week he's lost his key!'
A man goes to the doctor with a frog on his head and the doctor asks "What is the matter?" And the frog says, "Well doctor, I've got this thing hanging from my bottom."
What do you call a royal rabbit?
The hare to the throne.
How do penguins find the weather in the Arctic?
They just look outside and there it is!
What’s stripy and bouncy?
A tiger on a pogo stick
Why did the dalmation have his eyes tested?
He kept on seeing spots
How does a cat stop the video?
She presses the paws button!
Knock knock
Whos there?
Cows
Cows who?
No they dont. Cows moo.
Why did the turtle cross the road?
To get to the Shell garage
What do you give a sick pig?
Oinkment
What goes "Hum choo. Hum choo"?
A bee with a cold.
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo and a sheep?
A woolly jumper.
What is black, white and blue?
A panda holding its breath.
There's this dog goes to send a telegram and says "Arf arf arf arf arf arf arf arf arf." The clerk says to him "That's only nine words so you can send another arf." So the dog says "But that wouldn't make any sense."
Why did the snake join the fire-brigade?
Because he wanted to play snakes and ladders.
